I seemed to attract relationships with men who were kind and loving in other ways, but they really didn't see the point to giving flowers or saw them as a waste of money.
Even though I gave strong hints and talked a lot about how much I loved getting flowers and how happy and appreciated and loved I would feel to receive them, the flowers rarely came.
When they did come, they were often given grudgingly or out of a sense of "duty" rather than a gift "just because" that I would love and enjoy.
So I spent many years feeling resentful, insecure and hurt that the man in my life didn't understand what a huge difference the gift of flowers makes to my soul.
Then one day, I realized that I was giving responsibility for something so important to me and my happiness, into the hands of someone who didn't see it as a priority at all.
And I realized then and there what a huge mistake I had made.
And that moment was truly a revelation to me about how we much we give away our power when we have this expectation that the things that we really want should come from other people.
So we keep entrusting those really important things that are meaningful and special to us, to people who have been shown to be irresponsible or unreliable or who don't see it as a priority.
And the effects of that on our relationships and our happiness can be profound.
We sit and wait for someone else to give us what we want or take responsibility for something important, then feel hurt, resentful and disappointed when it doesn't happen.
Or we decide that maybe that person just really doesn't care about us, so we stop noticing the good and loving and thoughtful things they may do, which erodes the relationship further.
When the truth is, it's really not fair to put the burden of our happiness into someone else's hands, even if it is something that they truly want to do.
Is this something you are doing in your life right now?
Are you making the mistake of expecting someone else to give you what you want or what makes you happy?
When I made the choice many years ago to become 100% responsible for my happiness and my well being, I decided to joyfully take full responsibility for my flower fix.
Every week, usually without fail, I buy myself a gorgeous bunch of roses that sit on my kitchen table and every time I see them, I feel happy.
It's a beautiful, simple gift that I give myself that never fails to make me feel good and abundant and grateful and I love doing this for myself.
When you take full responsibility for your own happiness and let go of the pressure and expectation that other people "should" do it for you, something really powerful happens.
You get to give yourself what you need, when you need it without anyone one else needing to be involved.
By taking responsibility for your happiness, you let other people off the expectation hook and you can start to see the good things about them again, not just the ways in which you feel they have let you down or disappointed you.
Once you do that, your relationships improve, you become less needy and insecure and more confident, relaxed and happier.
Your happiness and the things that feed your soul need to be your priority.
Yes, its wonderful when other people enjoy giving to you so enjoy those moments when they happen, but when it's something essential to your happiness, then you need to take charge.
So here's a challenge for you.
How do you actively prioritize something that gives you joy or pleasure?
What is one thing you can commit to giving yourself each day or each week that gives you more happiness and pleasure?
© Kerry Jeffery August 2105.